Shiloh and My History Teacher

I had a great history teacher in 7th grade who really made the subject come alive in such a way that there are certain things I have never forgotten. That it the teacher I want to be. This poem was inspired in part by him and in part by a line from Kahlil Gibran: "It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart, even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth." In that line he takes a metaphor and pulls it into the real world, which fascinated me. I haven't fully done it here, and perhaps I need to, but that's all what inspired this poem. Adelante:

My History Teacher
He drew the battle on the board,
Shiloh and the thousands dying in the ditch
still in their pajamas, still half-awake,
the tens of thousands crossing the Tennessee
river of doom, caught in the middle
of war cries and grown men crying.

He kept us from sleep with a voice
of cannons as he struck the chalk
against the board. He had us in position,
then painted history from his soul
to mine: an unknown masterpiece
I hang in the traveled corridors of home.

The nights of my personal civil wars,
mouths loaded with bullets and yawns,
our house divided if we dig a ditch,
dead if we drown in a dark river of words,
I remember his cold classroom and blackboard,
his simple art, a warning etched in my heart.

Sleeplessness breeds confusion. Thousands
stand on this battleground wondering if the rain
is a storm, if the sounds are soldiers marching.
In this there is no victory for you or me.
If we leave the night for a white dawn, it will be
a flag in the sky, instead of a pallid tomb.

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I personally feel like the first two stanzas are the strongest and I'm wondering what I can do to make the second two stanzas stronger. Should I take out the we and change it to a personal "I"? Does the ending work? I was trying to get across the idea that a form of death, a loss, a pain, can be avoided. Does the subject even work? Is it interesting to others? Do the images draw the reader into the poem? These are all the questions I have; I'd be happy if I got much of a comment from anyone though about anything.