Response, California Bound

Response, California Bound

- To Korey

When you wrote the letter it came across

the continent crossing the salted ravines

mountains kicked up by collisions and dirt

pushed beneath the skin it came as a thin leaf

in my tin box the first sign of autumn the greenness

I saw in your words had been drawn

back into your buried roots you described time

as passing so fast you could see the plane

in the sky a comet blinking before it left

visibility and yourself riding that dream

home your spirit arrived here with you bereft

of hands sanded by clenched ocean

breeze and legs cramped beneath the weight

of your body walking so far it became

a companion sleeping and sick without you

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In this poem I wanted to create the effect of someone far away wishing so much that they were home that it’s as if their spirit has left already and the body is left behind as something incomplete, almost a separate entity that barely functions. I also feel the poem is about maturing and homesickness, or a resistance to that change.

I got the idea for this type of poem after reading a lot of W.S. Merwin, whose poetry is simple in language and yet syntactically interesting because he never adds the punctuation at all. The readers have to make it up on their own.

There are a couple places where I think I could perhaps add more if necessary: between “roots you” and “home your”. I might be making large jumps in both of those places and perhaps more information would be helpful for clarity’s sake. And if so, I’d be willing to provide.

To those of you interested, this poem is loosely based on a friend I have out in California on a mission for my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He’s actually doing fine; he just mentioned how fast time was passing by. After that, I just thought of other people I’ve known who’ve been homesick.

Hope you enjoy!