The Phantom Sleeps In

Poem first, explanation later on this one:


The Phantom Sleeps In
His room is locked in the morning
and his breath cold I have to press my ear
against the door to make sure I’m not alone.
I spread myself some buttered toast,
and I check the weather for rain
because then it’s easier to fade back to sleep,
but I have school and he has work.

Some days I beyond that door hear the drizzle
of a shower, or a faucet left running
over his hands, while mine prepare lunch.
I call out good morning, if I believe
he can hear me, but never a reply.
I think he’s lost in there, between the daylight
and the past that haunts his open eyes.

His part-time job at a grocery store
takes him and returns him when I’m away,
because no one wants moaning on night shift
anymore. They pay him minimum praise
while he floats noiselessly between the aisles,
stocking soup cans and soda bottles,
answering only the simple questions.

Last night I woke up to the groan of hinges
and the hallway light. I heard the dishes rattle
like fresh chains. Following the humming
and the crunching, I found him at the table
eating cereal, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts,
his hair cut short, his scruff a midnight shadow,
hiding his face from even me.

The world keeps him in the frozen isle;
I conceal him in that dark room in my heart
and he stays in the late hours of this moment
when I tell him goodnight and he says the same.
Beneath his uncanny disguise my brother
smiles like we are still forgetful children
who believe there is time to sleep in.

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First off, what is you gut feeling after reading the poem? What is it about and what emotion is there behind it? And if you don't get anything that's okay - What should it be about and what emotion should be behind it? Make up something and let me know; it'd be interesting to see.

After you've come up with that for yourself I'll tell you what I was thinking, which is generally garbled. So this poem is based, albeit loosely, on my brother. I see him a decent amount but he does hang out in his room a lot and our schedules don't usually line up, so one day I thought it was like living with a phantom. And then the idea of a phantom who couldn't rattle his chains at night anymore came to mind. And then I started to fictionalize it from there (like my brother doesn't work at a grocery store). The overall feeling that began to go into the poem was a portrait of someone who is held back both by himself and by others and how that person is almost being hidden or erased from life until they are light ghosts or phantoms in our lives, which is sad. There are certain people that I know who are seemingly hidden away from us and it's like they're in their own reality. Not sure if that makes any sense, but that's roughly how I'd describe my thought process. Hope you enjoyed it at least. And by the way, my brother is awesome; just wish he'd get out more and do stuff with me.